Friday, July 31, 2009

Catholic guilt is a terrible thing.

Every time I nip down the waves when I think I should be working, or sneak in a surf after a meeting, I get consumed by 'maybe I shouldn't have done that'.

So last Wednesday, after the tastiness of the day before, I took myself off to confession at the Church of St Lippy the Glassy Walled. Old Father O'Barrellin' was taking confessions and as a true hard nut Oirish priest, he was driving a rock hard confessional this day. No room to move and the penances were merciless.

......Bless me father for oi have sinned ( I always slip into the Irish at church)... it's tree weeks since oi last had a decent splash.

That's no excuse son. Get on with it me boyo... What have you done?

Well fath'r, oi slipped off for a splash when oi shoulda been at a meetin'..

Go on, go on!!!

... and it was epic fath'r, breakin' from outside Rincon through the bowl, the new board was firin"

... this is naught goood!

... and on my first wave oi did a screamin' bottom turn into the biggest hack oi've done in years, followed by another off the bottom that had the fins a hummin', then oi slipped up into a noice little barrel and finished it off with a roundhouse and the sweetest of rebounds before a reo in the shorey.."

In the name of blessed St Thomas O'Blake 'tis wickedness, sheer wickedness young Michael.... how could ye?

How could I what fath'r?

How could you not call before before y'went down..? Oim - not - happy!

Sorry Fathr.

For penance it'll be tree dug rails, a blown take off and 4 caught insides. And you're lucky oi don't get yer to follow the example oi set that young Derek O'Hynd and not let him use his fins for three years!

Yer a hard man Fathr, tis true, but it hasn't seemed to stop our Derek.

Oi know m'boy, I always thought he'd come to no good and look at him now! Spinning round like the deevil stuck a merry go round up his ar... er... Never mind about that Derek. You'll thank me one day m'boy. Now what are you doin' on Sunday?

Welll Fathr, oi cannot tell a lie. The reports'r offshore... six to eight feet at 16 seconds.

Begorrah! Pick me up at dawn and could you throw in yer spare seven six? Oi think I'll need a bit of meat under me chest.

And so it was that the next day, yesterday, I had a pre meeting surf down on the Island, it was horrible and cross shore, I dug rails, had gimpy legs and managed half of one good wave. The old bugger got me. To top it off, late in the day on the way home I checked a few likely spots for some action, I'd run out of time and found a couple of secrets doing their thing.

I only hope the reports are right or penance will be surfing onshore slop for months.


ras said...

Damn good post Mick! oi know exactly what that guitly feelin is like exceptin mine was learned on hard rock pews deep in the Andes Mountains where there were no waves in sight. for my penance today after last weeks glutoness I greated the sunrise on the coast with a flat as an iron ocean. so now I will drag myself off to work half-asleep and waveless. what a shameless life we lead.

Anonymous said...

Lucky I rang Mick, a much better post, to be sure to be shore.

pranaglider said...

" and not let you use fins for three years..." too funny

Toddy said...


lawless said...

Stop with the pictures already! It's brutal. I'd glad suffer through some blown takeoffs and dug rails for access to some of those nuggets. I really need to move somewhere that gets actual waves...

TallGuySurfing said...

Thanks for an entertaining post to read! Great pics too!

NiegĂ  said...